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Gravatar for Eli Eli From unknown
6 April 2010 - 4:30pm
Hey, i've been working on this song and wanted to know what you guys thought. Feel free to give advice about how to make it better! Thanks Verse 1 You are the light of my salvation Whom shall I fear Neither death nor life or mountains high could separate me from you Verse 2 In all things I will sing of my love for my king whispered words it's you I yearn for Let this fire burn Let this heart stir Chorus Your love reaches to the heavens Your love never fails Your love overwhelms like an ocean Your love, your love bridge is better than life better my dreams bigger than fears stronger than my sin It sustains me it upholds me it restores me

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Gravatar for gavinball gavinball From Fishponds Baptist Church, Bristol, UK
#1
8 April 2010 - 8:35pm
lovely voice, great melody i like this a lot. i like passion behind it. the chorus is great, the vertses seem a bit disjointed tho. i dont know that the whispered words line really works. the let this heart stir is again a bit vague aswell, stir for what? keep working on it, great start. God bless, gav.
Gravatar for elikem christiantamaklo elikem christia... From Frontline Church Liverpool
#2
1 May 2010 - 12:29pm

Hey Gav,
thanks for the feedback. I see what you mean about the verses, i've been listening to it over and realise that it takes a while before the song kicks in at the chorus. Regarding the line 'whispered words, it's you I yearn for, Let this fire burn, Let this heart stir', i understand when you say that it seems a bit vague, I think the difficulty is that for me it makes perfect sense but i know what you mean. will work on it. What do you think about the tempo? I'm not sure if it would sound better faster or slower.
Thanks,
Eli

Gravatar for Matt Cash Matt Cash From Sandals Church
#3
2 May 2010 - 11:42pm

Love the voice. I would really work to connect the words in the verse and I think you'd really be onto something there.

I feel the chorus is all over the place. I'd find a line or two that you really like and repeat them over again. Just my thoughts.

Matt Cash
Worship Leader @ Sandals Church
Riverside, CA