Hey Jamie, liking this, sounds like a great song for reflective worship. Seeing as you are going to do a full recording I reckon there are a couple of minor things you could do which might make it complete. For the fist two lines, replacing one of the 'seems' with a similar word would be good as it would take out the repetition. You also have a similar line in the second verse where it goes 'though all might seem lost', just a reshaping of those three uses would definitely help. The last line of the chorus, for me, doesn't seem to quite fit with the rest of it, I think perhaps because the rest of the song is all about what things we will experience and then that last line is about Jesus/God. Also i think it wants to match the first two lines of the chorus, so maybe something along the lines of 'and all sorrow and sighing will flee away, we will be home'. There are so many better things than the one I just said, but hopefully you understand the kind of thing i mean! The final thing I would say is that perhaps the bridge could do with another line in it? I think just because of the layout of the rest of the song. Hope some of this helps, if it doesnt or if you disagree please ignore it! Good luck with the recording, would be cool to hear it when you have the full band sound backing you up too. Take care man!

sorrry didn't mean to write that twice, now i don't know how to get rid of it...

haha sorry!

Hi Jamie, I really like the feel of this song, I like the space you've created and particularly like the "real life" sounds you've included in there. At the risk of making myself very unpopular, however, I feel that the lyrics could be stronger. Nothing you have said in the song is wrong, however, it has all been said before, in almost exactly the same words. It feels to me like a long list of clichés... You are clearly a gifted musician and the song is good, so it seems a shame to use tired language which detracts from the musicality of the song. Some examples of what I mean: "flow like rivers" - both tears and justice always seem to flow like rivers. Is there another way of saying this? "There is a light, thats shining in the darkness" - Almost identical to Martin Smith's "There is a light, that shines in the darkness" "When all songs are sung," this line seems to have been used before, along with "all words have been said" etc. Similar in sentiment to "when the music fades"... I find the chorus confusing thematically. Are you referring to Heaven, or God's Kingdom on Earth? Also not sure what "crowning our heads with joy" means? Another thing to consider is the person in which the song is written, i.e. the verses are in first person singular ( I ) and the chorus is in first person plural (we). The song would work better if both verses and chorus were either all WE or all I. Anyhow, as I said, I like the feel and sound of the song. Lyrically the sentiment is fine, however I feel the lyrics could be improved. I look forward to hearing it when it is finished. God bless, Alex