Tom George
From St Thomas Crookes
Hi, this is my first post on this forum, this is one of the songs that I have written. It's not very good quality because it's only recorded on my laptop microphone. It's called worship you.
Overwhelmed by love
We find ourselves
In awe of You.
You have made a way
That those who come
Will worship You.
Jesus we come
To worship You.
We raise Your name high
To honour You
We will try to live
The perfect life
To live like You
Our sacrificed
You died to raise
Us from the grave
This will be our
Song of praise to You
This life You lead us through
Has many trials
But we stay true to You.
You gave up life
That we may live
To worship You.
Jesus You came
To save our lives.
Worship will bring,
Bring us close to You.
We will worship You
Lord our God
If you could have a listen to it and feel free to make some comments, constructive or otherwise.
Thanks
(sorry again for the quality)
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Thanks, I shall record it again in my range and have a look again at those lyrics, then I shall repost it.
I have updated the song, it's now in a more comfortable key and I have adjusted some of the lyrics
Hey Tom, really like the melody on this especially on the verse and chorus. (i wonder if the pre-chorus is a bit rushed, in terms of fitting the lyrics in?)
Just a couple of other quick thoughts.
Would it make more sense to change
'You have made a way
That those who come
Will worship You.' to 'Can' worship You? I suppose even though Jesus made a way it's still a choice we have to make - which matches your chorus thoughts.
The other thing you could maybe just use 'our sacrifice' in the chorus instead of 'our sacrificed'?
I think this a great framework of a great song, keep going with it!
Thanks Chris, those are some really good points, I'll do an updated version soon.
I don't know about the pre-chorus, it could sound rushed, but the lyrics are easy to fit in if you get them in the right place.
Thanks again
No problem at all.
Yeah you're probably right with the pre-chorus, was just my initial thoughts from listening to it a couple of times.
(and i'm guilty of making everything too straight I think all the time!)
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I'd really like to hear a 2nd try at this song in your range. The key is causing accessibility problems: very far out of your range. Your lyric "Why do we try? cause we know it is true." I have no idea what that means. Like I said I think you should record it again in a key that is comfortable for you so that we can get a better idea of melody and movement before we can give it an honest critique.
Matt Cash
Worship Leader @ Sandals Church
Riverside, CA