Sam Hargreaves
From Stopsley Baptist, engageworship.org, London...
12 January 2009 - 7:47pm
Hi folks, I'm new to this forum, but I do the www.RESOUNDworship.org thing with Matt Osgood, and he said this is a good place for feedback. This is a new song, trying to unpack that great little phrase "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again." Would love to hear your thoughts, and I promise I'll comment on some of the other songs...
We believe in the suffering saviour,
Jesus Christ hung upon the cross.
Sinless man, ruler of creation,
died to show grace and mercy's cost.
we will praise our suffering saviour,
in awe proclaim:
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again. x2
We rejoice in our living saviour,
on the third day he rose from death.
As we die to our sin in Jesus,
we are raised in his righteousness.
We will praise our living saviour,
in awe proclaim:
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again. x3
On the day of the coming saviour
all those sleeping in Christ shall rise/all the dead from their graves shall rise.
Resurrected with earth and heaven,
we will see him with transformed eyes.
As we trust our coming saviour,
our hope remains:
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again. x2
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Michael
From Canterbury Baptist Church
12 January 2009 - 9:09pm
Hey Sam, welcome on board!
Great song, I enjoyed listening! I like the fact the chorus (or end of each verse, however you want to put it) is really simple and anthemic, brings it back to a great point each time. The only thing that jumped out about that was would it read better as "Christ is risen" rather than "has risen"? To me it makes it seem more real and relevant by putting it in the present. EDIT: Though looking at the first paragraph and listening to you sing it it sounds like it's a change you might've already made? :)
Only other thing I'm pondering over is the line "As we die to our sin in Jesus" - perhaps I'm just being slow but it doesn't seem to flow that well linguistically and doesn't seem that clear cut as to what it's trying to say. What about something along the lines of "As our sin dies in Jesus", I know it doesn't quiet fit but personally I think it fits better when the emphasis is firmly on our sin dying and not us.
Regarding the alternative lyrics in the last verse (I assume that's what it is?) I do much prefer the "sleeping in christ shall rise", the latter one sounds a bit too yoda-ish and horror-ish for my liking lol!
Keep it up though, great start on this and definitely sounds to me like it's got lots of potential :) And the resound worship site is amazing!
Michael
hi sam,
nice to see you on here. hope things are going well?
great song in the making!
i agree with on the As we die to our sin in Jesus" line. it seems a bit vague to me, if you said die to our sins through Jesus that might work better?
Resurrected with earth and heaven' this line also seems a bit vague to me.
to add variety you could ammend the 2nd in awe we proclaim to something else aswell?
keep writing!
God bless,
gav.
Sam,
Thanks for posting this great song. I really like the way you use each verse to reflect the three parts of the theme, "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again". This three part repetition is good.
Here are some general thoughts that in no way imply you have to do anything with except peruse at your leisure. ;)
- Verse 1
Possibly change "we will praise oir suffering saviour" to "we remember our suffering saviour" ( I even kept the right spelling as you know that we Americans are quite lazy and drop the "u" in savior.)
Verse 2
I like Gavin's suggestion for putting the line as "as we die to our sins through Jesus." Also you could change "In awe proclaim" to something like "joyfully exclaim" or something.
I like your last lines on each verse but wonder what it would sound like if you changed it to "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ is coming again?" Although it sounds fine that way it is.
Great song, keep up the writing,
Graham Page
WAVE Band
Hi all
thanks for the great comments. Yes Michael you are totally correct, it should be 'IS risen', that is a typo.
Graham - why change 'praise' to 'remember' in v1 - so it has variety throughout the song? You could be right, but i think i should look for a one syllable word so the scan doesn't change. Your 'joyfully exclaim' ideas - again you might be on the right lines but i want to keep the syllable count the same. Someone has suggested 'and now he reigns' or something like that. 'we adore our living saviour, lift high his name..."?? I'm not sure - I quite like the fact it repeats v1 and 2 and then changes for the third verse!
"Die to our sin in Jesus" and "raised in his righteousness" - maybe I'm not expressing that the best way. I was thinking along the lines of these kind of verses:
Romans 5:21
so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 8:11
And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
Maybe I should change this to
"When/As the Spirit of Christ lives in us,
we are raised in his righteousness."
Is that better?
I'm also looking at tweaking the tune in the end of each verse line so it is a little higher - at the moment i think it drops a bit low. I'd love to get your feedback on these thoughts, then I'll post a new recording.
RESOUNDworship.org
engageworship.org
Hey Sam,
Personally I think that change is much better, I understood those lyrics pretty much straight off rather than puzzling over the previous ones!
As for the tune dropping a bit low in the verse, do you really mean in each verse line? Perhaps the ones that drop down to A could be altered so the last note's C# - this would probably make it a bit easier to sing as well in the sense that it's then on the same note as the start of the next line. However, the ones that go up to the E and higher seem absolutely fine to me, though I guess part of that's just personal preference.
Look forward to the new recording!
Michael
I loved how you guys at Resound Worship write lyrics so organised. I mean, if you look at Matt Osgood's song "We Give Praise" one of my favourites each verse is about Father, SOn and Spirit. And I loved what you did with it as well.
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