tlavenice
From Hempfield BIC
I'd like any constructive criticism you can give me about this song, and song writing tips in general that you think I could use to grow. I will warn you that this is a very rough recording (you'll notice some timing issues on the tracks :))and I don't consider myself a great vocalist, but never-the-less I feel like I might have some potential as a song writer. I do lead worship and I feel like God is really calling me to develop my skills, along with my heart for Worship.
This song we have actually done at my church, and I've gotten some positive feedback on it (which doesn't necessarily mean it's good or complete). I still feel like it's rough around the edges, even if you ignore the roughness of the recording. The song developed as I was working on picking music for worship for a certain week and I found that none of the songs we were doing at church really fit the topic. I don't recall the topic exactly, but the basic gist of it was a call for us as church, both locally and globally, to come together as one body and pour out our lives to make a difference for Christ in the world.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to listen and give feedback.
P.S. Here are lyrics and chords
We are the People of God
INTRO: C Am F2 C (2x)
VERSE:
C
We vow to make a difference
Am
We want to be a part of it
F2 C
We want to see Your Spirit move
C
We will come together
Am
We will be Your people
F2 C
We want to see Your kingdom come
CHORUS:
C Am
We are the people of God. We are the ones that He loves.
F2 C
We will come together to change the world.
C Am
Make our lives a sacrifice. We will trample on our pride.
F2 C
We will join as one to change the world
BRIDGE:
C F2
Holy Spirit, Fall. Holy Spirit, Fall.
C F2
Holy Spirit, Fall. Holy Spirit, Fall.
C F2
Jesus, use us. Jesus, use us.
C F2
Jesus, use us. Jesus, use us.
F2
Use us!
It look's like you don't have Adobe Flash Player installed. Get it now.
good song idea here, i dont have a problem that the song is more about us, as long as we have a balance of other songs that are about the Lord in the service its fine.
one line stuck out to me, 'we are the ones he loves', yes we are, but God also loves everyone outside the church aswell.
anyway of making that line stronger?
Jesus use us, amen to that!
keep writing
God bless,
Gav.
Thank you both for your comments. I think you both make good points for me to ponder. HAWKO, I definitely see what you are saying. While the focus of the song was to kind of stir up the church, which is the reason why there's more about we and us, I would like my songs to have a strong focus on Christ, so I will definitely think through that.
GAVINBALL, I also see what you're saying with this line. It certainly wasn't meant to be exclusive, but now that I look at it, it could very much feel that way. With the focus of the song being more of a call to those who have given their lives to Christ already, it was meant to be more like saying "Come on! We're His people and you know He loves us. Let's go change the world, so that they can know that love too". I just wanted to give some background on my thoughts on that line, but not really to defend it. I think that line could be reworded, even if it's to just say the same basic thing in a less exclusive way. Or maybe I could even make it about Christ's love for the world.
Thanks again for your feedback. I'm finding this part of the website extremely helpful already. The one line that I personally struggle with, because it feels kind of cliche or boring is "We will trample on our pride". It says basically what I want it to say, but I just don't like the way I say it.
I will think over these things and post back any changes I come up with.
I like this song Tim! The thing that really makes it work is that the tune really matches the vision of the song - it's uplifting and motivating.
I love what you're getting at with the line 'we are the ones that he loves'. Especially coming after the line 'we are the people of God' it reminds us of our identity, what God's done for us, and that's what makes us want to go out, and what makes it safe! The tricky bit is making the church feel that without excluding the rest of the world. what about something like, 'firmly established in love' or '(with a slightpause) secure in his love/rooted in love' ?.
Something else I think may make the chorus stronger is changing the emphasis on the 2nd and 4th lines - I think you want to motivate people to believe that change really is possible, however to me it sounds a bit like that change is going to be brought about by 'people power!' What about 'Send us out in your name to change the world'? or something similar.
As a suggestion for the trampling on our pride line, what about, 'make our lives a sacrifice, sweep away our foolish pride'?
Keep wrestling with this song, it's a good song so it's worth it!
Becky
Hi
i really like this song just a few suggestions
We vow to make a difference
We have caught your vision
We want to see Your Spirit move
We will come together
We will sing the song of heaven
We want to see Your Spirit come
We are the people of God. We are the ones that He loves.
We will come together to reach the world.
Make our lives a sacrifice. We will trample on our pride.
We will join as one to the ends of the earth
im not sure about the (change the world,) god will use us but the (change the world) phase is in loads worship of songs.
you even put in 2 times in the song, maybe mentioning (the earth) could make the chorus stand out more.
also (your kingdom come) is very overused in a lot of worship songs, there has got to be another way of saying it.
this is still a really good song, keep working on it.
New Song
Forum Latest
Firstly I have to say I love the vision of this song, being to create unity and a sense of mission within the church. The church could certainly use more unity. I would put this challenge to you though, how can you make Christ more central in this song? From my perspective it feels like the song is about us, more than its about Jesus.