petewillmot
From St Luke's Redcliffe Gardens, Earls Court
19 February 2010 - 3:42pm
I've been working on this song for about a year now...
So finally managed to get a final demo down and think about where
Key of G: Very High... admittedly but would probably bring it down to E. but for the purpose of quality of vocals it was best to stick it higher.
Chords are simply:
Capo 7
Verse 1:
C G Am F
C G F
Bridge:
G Am F G
Chorus:
C G Am F
C G Am F
Interlude at end:
Am G F
Am G F
Verse 1:
Lifting my hands in praise before You
You've captured my heart by Your great mercy
Responding to celebrate Your holy love
Presenting my life to Your great purpose
Surrender my all in adoration
Willing to go and be Your hands and feet
Bridge:
This trophy of Your grace
Will stand in awe and gaze
Upon the One who reigns in victory
Chorus:
Your love came to rescue the lost
You redeemed me by Your perfect cross
God I worship You, Lord I worship You
Your grace has conquered death
And Your light brings hope when there seems no end
God I worship You, Lord I worship You
Verse 2:
Humbly I bow before Your throne
Praising You for Your love and kindness
Exalting You far beyond all earthly things
Stretching my hand to simply touch You
Knowing Your presence always fills me
Replenish my life by Your unfailing power
Comments would be wonderful thanks.
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Marc Proctor
From New Hope Church
19 February 2010 - 6:43pm
Hey Pete!
I like it. There's a nice flow to the melody line and it is a good chord progression.
Just a single thought, it seems that the progression is halted mid verse with "Responding to celebrate Your holy love". Maybe it would flow better if you would cut that line out; and it's partner in verse two. Then you'd have the different/varied line in the verse be the one that leads into the bridge/chorus.
I really didn't have much else to offer for making it better, its a nice song and well put together. Keep up the good work here!
Aye I like this song...
The only real idea I had was perhaps for the line:
"God I worship You, Lord I worship You"
in the chorus, perhaps try Am G C/E F (capo 7) instead of the C G Am F? Both fit fine but I guess you could say the Am G C/E F is more interesting (in my opinion). It's only an idea... try it out :-)
hey guys thanks for the comments. so encouraging.
MIchael... I really like that idea... have been playing around and think may switch it to Am Gsus F2 instead..
I'll cut out the C/E... but really like that idea thanks...
Marc - I don't whether to change the chords on that and see if that makes a difference. As far as melodically goes I'd envisioned it to stay the same. I'll keep tinkering. Thanks though guys... Will keep going
Hi Pete,
Great song, (plus the guitar and your vocals sound good!)
One thing that came to mind was
'You redeemed me by Your perfect cross'
I know what you mean, but it makes it sounds like the cross was perfect rather than Jesus so wondered about...
You redeemed me by/in Your perfect love?
Maybe that makes more sense, not sure.
Oh one more thing people might not get the trophy bit!?
Great work though.
Cheers Chris
yeah i know what you mean about it.
Maybe to use the phrase
'You redeemed me by Your love on the cross'
Although thats becoming a bit more wordy.
Also going back to the line that you mentioned Marc -
I chatted to a friend and recommended
"I will celebrate Your holy love"
and then to do something similar for the other lines.
Just jotting down ideas to see if I can get there with this one.
Hi Pete:
i think you have done a good job here
couple of things I would do a bit different but thats just me
1st off; the melody in the chorus is very heavily similar to some of melody in the song "Potters Hands"- "beautiful lord, wonderful saviour" by Darlene Z from Hillsong whilst not wrong in the slightest to copy & borrow (in fact John Lennon said all song writers do it. ) I think it may cause confusion if your congregation also sing that same song... so for me... more melody development needed but be encouraged because Darlene is an excellent tunesmith.. & if you had no prior knowledge of her song - prooves you have done a very good job well done
in v2 lines 2/3&4 the 1st word of the line begin with a word each time ending in an "ing" why not follow that through in V1 with surrendering & rework the lyric - for me that has to match up
I agree with others about the word "trophy" in effect you are saying here that you/the singer is the trophy ummm im feeling a) that the singer should regard themself higher in God's sight than just a trophy & b) it deflects the triumph/victory feeling sense the line is trying to create away from Jesus & on to the singer... I know what you are trying to achieve with this line but feel it may do the opposite
in the chorus I would rework came to comes .... because Jesus Love was not just for a one day event & is accessable for those currently lost
Im confused by line 5 of the chorus.. not sure from how its worded what there is "no end of"
on the whole very good job I like it... good stuff
To Zola, I think when Pete says
'And Your light brings hope when there seems no end' that Jesus is the light that brings us hope when we feel like there is no end and nothing to help with the challenges and problems that we face!
good song!!
Hi Pete,
nice song! Not much I can add to what has already been said apart from the "trophy" line. I see what you're saying but agree with what the others have said. Perhaps some alternatives:
Bridge:
You shower me with grace/You clothe me with Your grace
I stand in awe and gaze
Upon the One who reigns in victory
Makes it a little more immediate too (i.e: I STAND in awe vs (I) WILL stand - which implies a future action and not as immediate.
Or something like that. Just a suggestion.
Nice work mate.
Wayne
Hey Guys
Thanks for all your posts.
Nothing has happened yet with the song, but when it does you will hopefully be some of the first to know
Pete
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