Steve Knott
From St John's Mansfield
Hey dudes & dudettes!
Here is a song I've been working on - not sure it is quite there yet. A couple of people have said that the chorus seems a bit unconnected to the verses but I wanted to make the point of praising through the hard times, even when we're in the desert place. I hope that makes sense!
Recording was done in about 20 mins on a lunchtime in-out job, and is a tone down from the chords shown as that is how the borrowed guitar was tuned (no time!). I also ran out of space on the guitar I used as it wasn't mine and I came to the bit with different chords in the last verse and was like "huh!??!" as both of my acoustics have cutaways. Anyway, you'll get the gist!
Feedback invited on all aspects of the song - go crazy!
V1
Em G D Em C
Though the sky seems dark
Em G D Em C
Though your light is veiled
Em G D Em C
Though our ways collide
Bm9 C
I will praise
V2
Em G D Em C
Though the walls are high
Em G D Em C
Though the waters rise
Em G D Em C
Though my courage fails
Bm9 C
I will praise
Chorus
C G D
I bring all I am to You
C
I’m living for your fame
Em D
Singing for your Glory
V3
Though the desert burns
Though your face concealed
Though my hope expires
Still I praise
V4
Though the clouds descend
Though your works obscured
Em G Am G D
I know you are here
C
Emmanuel!
Bridge/Chorus
Emmanuel, God with us!
You’ll never let us go
Emmanuel, You are ever Faithful God
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Dude, I was praising God whilst listening to that song, that's awesome! That's a fantastic song! I disagree that the chorus doesn't fit, I think it's perfect. The imagery I got was of a dark sky and with the first chorus it starts to slowly part and by the bridge, the light shines down dispelling all darkness. Don't know if you have drums at your disposal or electric guitar, but I could see from the chorus into the bridge a running rhythm that just keeps on building with the bridge. Great work dude! GOd bless!
What an awesome song, really simple, well done sir! :D
Love the chorus. not so sure about the verse, although guitar riff is nice its a bit mundane melody wise. Quality is great considering it was rushed and great vocals. overall much better than i could do.
to summarise: to improve it i would try and make the verses a bit catchier and perhaps less of them e.g. just two. oozes reverence!
Great, really like it. One bit that doesn't quite seem to sit right is in V3 'though my hope expires'. Expires doesn't quite seem to fit, what about "though my hope it fails' (although you have 'fails' in line 3 of V2) or 'though my hope gives out'. I wonder if 3 verses are just a touch too many - perhaps 3?
Lovely feel to it, nice understated power. A bit of electric guitar coming in as the song builds towards the end would be great!
Hey Steve,
Still love this song - great recording mate! I still like the line, "Though my hope expires" - personally, I wouldn't change it personall, however, I still think you should change the lyrics of the chorus.
I like "I bring all I am to you" but not "I'm living for your fame, singing for your glory". I think you could summerise the song with different words more effectively. The rest of the words are stating that even when things are exceptionally hard you will still praise. I think the aforementioned line is a little overused.
Sorry to be harsh bro but I know you've got a killer line in you for that chorus!
The record sounds great. Is that Anya on BVs? Great vocals on both parts.
great work mr knott!
im not clear about tho our ways collide?
aside from that, lovely song, clear message, could work well with a congregation. u tried it yet?
God bless,
gav.
I'm sorry but I find some of the imagery contradictory and at times confusing. High walls will keep out rising water, and the aforementioned rising waters don't really fit in with burning deserts. I'm also not sure about the line which says "though your face concealed"as it needs more to make sense i.e. Your face could be concealed or it could conceal something else.
I like the idea and the song itself, it's just a little bit confusing in places! Or maybe thats just me.
Hey guys,
Not tried it yet...really want to get this one right if it needs any changes before I hit that stage.
Gav: Cheers man! Though our ways collide - I was thinking about when our thoughts and actions don't quite match up to God's ways and ideals. Make sense?
Nick: I've tried - I can't think of anything else that goes as well! It is Anja on BV. Pretty much everything was one take.
Pete_T: I see what you mean looking at it again, however, I'm not sure that it is a big issue as they are all things which work against us if you catch my drift. What does anyone else think?
And in terms of electric guitar, yeah, we have that. Just wanted a simple acoustic demo so the song comes through!
Thanks all, I'm really encouraged and this might make me post some more stuff! Any more thoughts welcomed with open arms!
Hi Steve,
I have to agree with Pete and say some of the lyrical ideas might need a bit of honing. You may feel I'm being a bit pedantic, but I think it's good to really work hard on getting lyrical themes and ideas right - this is so nearly there!
"Though the sky seems dark" - I get what you're trying to aim for here: the idea that things 'seem' bleak, but I'm not sure it works as a metaphor. Either the sky is dark or it isn't. "Though the sky is dark"?
"Though your light is veiled" - I think the use of the word 'veiled' here is unfortunate and I think maybe it should be avoided. It's just too close to the imagery of the veil in the temple which has now been torn in two. I'm not sure it's that helpful to refer to anything about God as being 'veiled', because He isn't.
"Though the walls are high, Though the waters rise" - I think this is so nearly there but I wonder if you're mixing metaphors a bit here. I reckon you should keep the same imagery for both lines. What about 'Though the river's deep, though the waters rise" or similar?
And the other two lines "Though your face concealed" and "Though your works obscured" - I just think we need to be a bit careful about presenting as fact statements about God that may not be true and then getting a congregation to sing them! God sometimes *seems* hidden and obscured, but He isn't. I appreciate that's effectively what you're trying to say throughout the song, but do the lines stand up to scrutiny on their own? I'm not sure.
Apologies if you feel I've been too harsh. I do love the song - it's almost there!
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Love it! Great song mate!
Looking forward to New Wine! :D