Neil
From Cove, Aberdeen
29 October 2008 - 12:07am
Hi everyone,
This is a re-work of Psalm23 which I "mixed" from various bible versions.
I put this together a few years ago now, have used it a good few times and am happy with the words, its just the arrangement I'd like to make better.
I revisited it over the last week or two, as it really doesnt take long to sing, and wondered how to make it more reflective but still keeping it sing-able at the same time.
The song is in G and usualy I play it with standard chords.
I've tried on this recording to use G, Dsus, Em7 and C2 to give it a "drone" sound, in an attempt to make it more reflective, but I may just be making it sound too much the same.
Any pointers glady received.
An interesting thing that came up when I put this together originaly, was that I could sing the original "The Lord's My Shepherd" Hymn words to this melody as well, so you've got two version here to listen too.
"New" Lyrics / New Melody and "Old" Lyrics / New Melody.
The Lord's My Shepherd
G--------------------------------Dsus
The Lords my shepherd, I’ll not want
---Em7------------------C2
In pastures green I lie
-----G---------------------Dsus
He leads me to the gentle streams,
------C2---------------G---C2---G
And quiet waters by
My strength and soul, he does restore.
He guides me in good paths,
Of righteousness, he’s lain for me,
To glorify his name
Though I may walk, in deaths dark shade,
No evil will I fear.
For you are there, with your staff and rod.
You comfort and You steer.
A banquet you prepare for me,
Before my enemy.
My head you do with oil anoint,
And blessings pour on me.
Love and goodness, all my days,
Shall surely follow me.
And in your house for evermore,
I’ll dwell alongside thee.
God Bless
Neil
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Neil
From Cove, Aberdeen
29 October 2008 - 12:28am
Original Hymn Words - to sing along to if you want :)
The Lord’s my shepherd, I’ll not want.
He makes me down to lie
In pastures green he leadeth me,
the quiet waters by.
My soul he doth restore again
and me to walk doth make:
within the paths of righteousness,
e’en for his own names sake.
Yea though I walk in death’s dark vale,
yet will I fear none ill:
for Thou art with me and thy rod
and staff me comfort still.
My table thou hast furnished
in presence of my foes;
my head thou dost with oil anoint
and my cup overflows.
Goodness and mercy all my life
shall surely follow me:
and in God’s house for evermore
my dwelling place shall be.
God Bless
Neil
Hey Neil hows it going mate?
I really like the new lyrics, the changes you have made to feels more accessible across a wider age range, I especially "Though I may walk, in deaths dark shade,
No evil will I fear." - that's a really great and fresh way of putting it.
The tune is really easy to pick up but it may feel a little repetitive as it goes on? I suppose that could be helped with a full band arrangement. Keep having a play around and maybe throw a few different chords in as it progresses? e.g... verse 3 get some minors in there etc..
Again I love the fact your Scottish accent really comes through - it's great especially when you sing "green" :D
sounds good neil, nice rework.
chris makes some good points.
for me i cant help but again make a comment about the lyrics resembling yoda!! (marc p if youre reading this its another nod to you!)
we just wouldnt say, 'in pastures green i lie' in normal language we would say i lie in pastures green.
also the first 2 verses are sang about GOd 'he' and the last few verses to GOd (ie you) why not have the whole song sung to God?
although rod and staff are straight from teh bible i always struggle with that. it just doesnt really apply to modern day, how many shepherds do any of us know?!!
God bless,
gav.
Hi Chris,
I'm doing fine thanks, looking for some inspiration at the moment.
I've been following your "God Beyond all History" post (like it by the way - Wooahh)
Yeah, with this one, the song barely lasts 2 minutes (one and a half if you take out the extended gaps between verses). There seeems to be a fine line between - Is that it? and it dragging on. A band arrangement would help I think, but no resources there I'm afraid! I'd love to throw in some minor chords into verse 3, any ideas there?
Hi Gav,
Aaaarrrghh! , I've been Yoda'd
In Queens English, sing must we?!
Sorry couldnt help it :)
Should we not be creative and use poetic license in our songs as well?
I was trying to stay as true as I could to the bible verses which are "He" and "You/Thou"
I'll see if I can change things round a bit without losing its closeness to the actual Psalm.
And what do you mean how many shepherds do we know?
Dont you get "One man and his dog" on prime time TV, or is that just Aberdeenshire?
How about "For You are there with shep and rod"??
Just having a laugh :) thanks for your comments Gav, I struggle with the staff and rod bit as well, but still if it was good enough for King David....
God Bless
Neil
I wouldn't worry Neil, the original seems to have been written by Yoda too. ;)
Thinking on modern imagery for Psalm 23 for Gav (and I feel I can't apologise enough in advance...)
The Lord's my barista, I'll not want
He makes me down to sit,
In a coffee shop (though not a chain)
His latte's all taste great.
My soul he doth restore again
like a caffeinated drink
With extra shots and extra foam.
I'll glorify his name.
Though I may walk, in deaths dark shade,
No evil will I fear.
For you are there, your cup of tea
will comfort and will cheer.
A mocha you prepare for me,
Before my enemy.
Like extra chocolate sprinkles are
The blessings poured on me.
Love and goodness, all my days,
Shall surely follow me.
In your coffee shop for evermore,
I’ll dwell alongside thee.
paul you have yourself a hit on your hands!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Paul,
Thats just brilliant!
By the way, mines a cappuccino.
I feel a Doric (thats Aberdeen spik) version coming on soon as well!
Watch this space :)
Neil
Thats right guys! we need more Yoda lines! If you can’t beat it why not just join in!?
With that in mind, I’ve put together this little number.
V1
These forces fighting, dark and light
It is rising Light is
It is falling dark is
Chorus
Serve the lord we will
Forever in His care we are
for His children we are
V2
These choices face we, good and bad
Good does goodly it does
Bad does badly it does
Bridge
Very great He is
Very strong He is
The master He is
right I'm a bit dyslexic and Marc that has completely mashed my brain up!! ... meeellllt down.
Righto, then in interest of keeping Chris' brain intact. All Yodaeese is hereby banned. :) If you weren't dyslexic before reading that I'm sure by the 2nd verse it did the trick!
By the way, why is dyslexic so hard to spell? You'd think they'd come up with a name more friendly to those who have it!
Sorry Neil! kind of hijacked your song! I hear what you're trying to do with the simpler chords and think it does help. Since the simpler chords bring a focus to the lyric I'd just recommend cutting the instrumental break between sections down as far as you can, that would help to keep it moving forward. I liked it though!
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