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The battle's won (No matter)
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Gravatar for Amanda Amanda From unknown
16 July 2008 - 6:05pm
Help! My song sucks! And I would love it if i could have some major improvements on it. Much appresiated! It can't attach so it's below::: The battle is already won When it hasn’t yet begun And their attacks are strong But they can’t get past our defence Our voices carry your name Our hearts beat only, truly for you Our feet walk miles for your glory And our souls long for you. No matter how long it takes I’m waiting on that wondrous day And no matter when it is I’m ready for you to take your rightful place As king of all the earth When I first felt your power I was knocked off my feet Now I just want to feel it more Cause that was the best I’ve ever felt No matter how long it takes I’m waiting on that wondrous day And no matter when it is I’m ready for you to take your rightful place As king of all the earth And when that day comes I will be ready To receive your love and might Your Glory and your might I’m begging for your love I’m kneeling at your feet I’m dancing in your presence I’m shouting out your name No matter how long it takes I’m waiting on that wondrous day And no matter when it is I’m ready for you to take your rightful place As king of all the earth No matter how long it takes I’m waiting on that wondrous day And no matter when it is I’m ready for you to take your rightful place As king of all the earth Our voices carry your name Our hearts beat only, truly for you Our feet walk miles for your glory And our souls long for you.
Amandaaaaaaa
Gravatar for Jords Jords From Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB)
#1
16 July 2008 - 7:59pm
Let us know what issue you were having in attaching your song, and we will try and help you out. Just contact us with the 'contact' link found at the bottom of this page. Lyrics are good, I would say this verse needs some work though: And when that day comes I will be ready To receive your love and might Your Glory and your might Firstly you use might twice and is that really what you think the day will be like? Surely we have already received his love. I'm not songwriter but maybe something along the lines of: And when that day comes I will be ready To sing your praise For the rest of my days Dunno how that fits in without the music and I have probably sub-consciously stolen it from another song lol Cheers, ~Jordan

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Gravatar for matt osgood matt osgood From St. Stephen's
#2
17 July 2008 - 9:45am
Hey Amanda, a couple of people have already mentioned on this forum one really key aspect of worship song-writing - have a theme that you can sum up in a sentence or less, and stick to it like glue. The best songs are always the ones that have a really tight theme or little phrase that everything else revolves round (Think 'Blessed be Your Name' or 'In Christ alone' - even though the latter covers masses of ground it's still unpacking just the first 3 words of the song - brilliant!) Where I think your song is struggling is that you've got loads of different ideas packed in there - it starts with warfare, moves on to living for God, looks forward to the second coming, goes back to giving testimony of a first meeting with God (which btw you can't really use in a congregational song cos not everyone will have the same experience), goes on to cry out for more of God... etc What I'd suggest you do is hone down what you really want to say in THIS song, take a bunch of sections out and put them in other songs - you've got enough material and ideas here for at least three! Hope that helps, Matt www.RESOUNDworship.org Free New Worship Songs
www.RESOUNDworship.org Free New Worship Songs