dpickett
From Christchurch
17 May 2009 - 3:15pm
Hi there,
First post and glad to be a member. A youth musician here. Here are my roughed out lyrics to my new song Saviour King. I play Guitar/Piano and sorry for the lack of a recording, I am little stumped on a chord pattern at the moment.
Verse:
You are Lord of Lords
Of the Heavens and the Earth
You are King of the world
Of the whole of Time and Space
Pre-Chorus:
Forever we praise,
Forever we cry out,
Forever we love You!
Chorus:
Saviour King we love You
Saviour King we worship You
Saviour King we praise You!
Verse 2:
You came to the Earth
For the sake of all mankind
You saved us all from sin
You paid the price for us
Pre-Chorus:
Forever we praise,
Forever we cry out,
Forever we love You!
Chorus:
Saviour King we love You
Saviour King we worship You
Saviour King we praise You!
Saviour King we love You
Saviour King we worship You
Saviour King we praise You!
Our Saviour King!
Comments welcome and please give me some ideas for nice Chord Progressions for Guitar of Piano to use. I was thinking the Chorus could be F Bflat F but transposed for Guitar.
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Michael
From Canterbury Baptist Church
17 May 2009 - 9:15pm
Heya,
Lyrically this looks pretty good so far, I like it! In terms of points so far, I'm a bit unsure as to whether the prechorus / chorus could get a bit repetitive after a while? And the 3 line prechorus / chorus is a bit unusual as well, usually they're 4 lines. That might well change when you put music to it, I only mentioned the latter because it's possible that you're struggling to fit chords round just the 3 lines.
In terms of suggesting chords, I would if I could but it's really quite hard to suggest things from cold over an internet forum - what'd probably be best is if you went away and came up with a rudimentary chord pattern / tune that you felt could be improved, and then recorded and threw it up on here. That way we can suggest improvements far more easily!
Michael
Thanks for your comments Michael. I will get to it right away. I have a few patterns in mind that I just need to gracefully fit together.
Thanks for your comments regarding the structure. Looking back I can see what you mean. I think there are a few things that need changing around but as you say I will record a rough version. Sorry in advance if the guitar playing isn't Tim Hughes! I'm not that good.
Here's a rough demo I have just recorded. No guitar amp used or editing afterwards just raw into one mic. Comments please and of course improvements which are needed. I know the voice is quiet. Added to First Post!
id work on your guitar patterns and go with something a little more... less up close and personal and softer just my opinion
www.calebjoelsmith.ning.com
Hey it seems to be overpowered by your guitar at the moment. Id try for a more rhythmic pattern to allow the words to flow a little more.
the chorus feels a little generic with worship phrases, we love you, praise, worship, Maybe you could look to unpack these words or say them a little differently.
Also dont worry about being Tim Hughes its about you and God.
Pete
Thanks for your comments! As a rather new guitarist it always seems hard to get a rhythm going but I will try my best to come up with something a bit nicer. Sorry for the quality at the moment!
the lyrics are really great!!
You just need to work on a tune, maybe just record what you would like it to be with vocals as a guide track, and work on your guitar till you get it to fit with your vocals...if that makes sence, lol :P
Or as you say you play piano, why don't you work it out with piano?
I really love the lyrics though, and i don't think you need to change them at all!!
And as long as you worship God with the song then it's really great!!
Thanks for your kind words. I feel my keyboard sounds a little too harsh when I sing with it, but for a tune it's great. I am constantly trying to find a good chorus tune then the rest seems to fit into place.
I will do as you say and upload my results.
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