WorshipCentral

At the risk of sounding a little less manly than I'd like, this song made me cry! This is beautiful, and whether you use it as a ministry song or congregationally is up to you, but I feel it could work as both. I think it was Tim H talking at one of the WC conferences saying that we need to write songs that people can relate to, and I feel with this song everyone is able to relate on some level. Admittedly some people will relate with it on a much deeper level, but at the end of the day, we should all be running to God, after all, we all have broken lives.

Thank you for this song.

Alex

hey Alex, sorry to make you cry... I think!?

thanks for the input it's probably the most meaningful song to me personally I've ever written so its quite hard to put it on here to be listened to / tweaked but I feel that it could be strengthened to help others too so I want to make it as strong as i can so it could be used Congregationally / as a ministry song

bless you mate.

Chris.

hi chris,

nice work on this one thanks for sharing. its v different to the other songs youve written that ive heard. i like the way you have your heart on your sleave.

i think the melody is great i just think you can dig deeper with the lyrics. its not that the words arent good, just repeats of other songs ive heard before. things like, "storms 
rage 
on" and "bringing hope in the darkest night" are quite overused ideas. what if you tried to say the same thing but in a more original way? using similies and metaphors would improve this, like the example in the song 'above all'. 'like a rose trampled on the ground' .

the line "wounds that scar my mind" is more along the lines of fresh if you know what i mean.

i think its very congergational and with a few more tweaks on the words could be superb.

ps your voice is really strong i have to admit im a bit jealous!

God bless,gav.

Hey Gav

Thanks for he suggestions and the encouragement, I totally know what you mean about the phrases (when I oringally first came up with the template of the song about 2 years ago I think they were fresh!)

If I'm honest though its' not really meant to be a"ground breaking" song more of a simple hearts cry but if you have any suggestions of lyric changes please feel free to post away :)

blessings and thanks for taking time out to look at it.

Dude the bridge is sweet!

My only recommendation is on the lyric/phrasing of the line. "Though 
this 
life 
is 
broken, 
I 
stand
 here 
open
" in the first half of the chorus. It seems to me that it is crying out far an additional syllable of some sort. It would sound a bit like, "Though 
this 
life 
is 
broken, 
I 
stand
 here 
fully open". I stuck "fully" in there just to demonstrate the concept.

Either way, I would say this song is just on the brink of a congregational introduction.

Be encouraged.


Great, great song, Chris!

In terms of it being congregational, if you mean musically, then I think it would work fine.The melody is interesting yet familiar. I particularly like where you take the melody at the start of the first & third lines of the chorus.

If you're asking more if the theme and lyrics are congregational? This ended up being quite long, so I'll break it up into two posts. First, I'll make a couple of points about laments in general.

- If we seem to expect those going through hard times to sing our up beat and happy songs, why not expect those who are stronger in the faith to sing with those who are struggling? This is surely one of the ways in which we can 'rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn'. It can also be such a tangible expression of the body of Christ as we stand united in joy and pain. Now, it make take a bit of teaching and leading as we bring our congregations to understand how and why we should lament in corporate worship, but it's s goal worth pursuing. Songs like this would serve the church well as we move towards this goal.

- Secondly, something I read once suggested that we all need to sings songs of lament because, sooner or later, we all will face circumstances that test our faith. If we sing the songs now that articulate how we related to God in those times, we have developed the 'language' that will help us engage with God in those times. This is one of the ways that songs can teach us for the longer term as well as express our devotion while we sing them. Again, songs like yours can help the church to this end.

http://music.glenabbey.org.uk

As for your song specifically, I really like the balance of your lyrics. They're honest without being morbidly introspective. They're real without being too specific to your own personal circumstances and therefore can be sung by a congregation. I like the overall purpose of your prayer - bringing to God not only our brokenness but our openness that he would work.

I could also imagine the cancer patient whom God has chosen not to heal yet singing these words - in other words, you're not overly triumphalisitc, expecting God to have sorted the problem out by the end of the song. Although God can and sometimes does intervene miraculously, more often than not he calls us to be faithful through trials - this song helps us to engage with him as we seek to be faithful.

Finally, I really like how your song not only expresses our pain, but points us to God. This is our great hope as we as Christians lament. And it's why singing song like this is so much more than just having a therapy session. Verse 2 especially covers aspects of God's character.

I think the reference to faith is so important. If I could make one suggestion, is there any chance that lyric could expand a bit more on how that actually might happen? How does our faith grow? Let me encourage you to think a bit more about how this actually could happen. If our lyrics can not only point to the goal but also connect people to the means then they can they can really serve the church. For example, a song like 'In Christ alone' may not use the phrase 'Renew my faith', but in many cases we find that as people sing the truths in the song, their faith is renewed! So sometimes it can be better in lyrics to talk about the means of something happening as well as the goal (I hope this is making sense!!).

The following aren't lyrics, but they're the way I might want to pray for increased faith in a congregational setting. It might give you a few ideas!

'Renew our faith, O God, in the hope of your unrivalled sovereignty, of your inexhaustible love that is for us in mercy, of your undiminished presence beside us through every circumstance of life. Renew our faith in the certainty of the promises of your word, true and sure, which are all 'Yes' to us in Christ Jesus. Renew our faith in the certain and sure hope in the cross of Jesus Christ, that our sins are addressed with such finality that we can be assured, whatever our circumstances, however dark the night feels, that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus - nothing in life, through death, or beyond will ever separate us from the extravagant, unending love of our suffering, glorified Saviour.'

On the subject of pointing to God, I love the tag. Perhaps this is a place where you could mention other aspects of God's character too, allowing us to feast on the truth of who he is in the midst of our trials?

I really love this song, Chris! There's something a bit special about it. It really connected with me. Thanks for sharing it, especially as it's so personal to you.

http://music.glenabbey.org.uk

Thanks for sharing the song, Chris. I really like the sentiment and melody, and you have a great voice.

As Al said, expanding the theological content of the tag would be helpful - partucularly to tie together that God is good AND sovreign / in control. The two traps of experiencing suffering are thinking that God is either not perfectly good, or he's good but not really in control. Can you expand on the idea of "Your love will see me through"? As an initial thought, God working through christian community is an important facet of dealing with pain that doesn't get much mention in sung worship.

I'd also agree with Gav about thinking through some new expressions of suffering for the first two lines of the first verse. I think thrid line is really strong.

My final comment is that the chorus is a bit ingonguent in that you're both running and standing. Was that idea intentional? If not, is there another verb that could substitute for stand?

I hope you forgive the nit-picking - great job!

Paul

Man absolutely fantastic!

the only thing i could suggest is the line in the chorus "Though 
this 
life 
is 
broken, 
I 
stand
 here 
open
". The rhyme sounds a bit corny? if you get me. I love what it is saying, but maybe change the word open to something else?

otherwise love it!

Bless ya mate

Iain

Thanks for all the posts guys...really appreciate it

I'll hopefully get time to look at them properly after SS!!

Come on God!