Erik Cederberg
From The Groves Church (Portland, OR)
Hey guys, its been a while, but here's a little demo for a song I've been working on. I'd love to hear any feedback you might have. Thanks all.
Oh, and as far as the world cup is concerned. Go USA!
-Erik
http://erikcederberg.bandcamp.com/
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very very cool vibe, i loved it! It feels like the sort of atmosphere around a fire. I think the groove is just right. the pre-chorus, in our coming, in our going, in our everything, doesn't quite fit and I actually think that the verse could go straight into the chorus and work. It sounded better when you brought it after the bridge. All in all, you definitely have something earthy going on which sounds different. If this was a demo, i'd love to hear it after it's finished. God bless.
Hey Elikem. On the pre-chorus section, was it a groove issue, or just you felt the section unnecessary? Thanks for the feedback bro!
Erik, I dig the tune. I love the contrast between the verse and chorus, the verse having a more eerie text and the chorus having a 'lift' and brightening up. I like the pre-chorus because I think it the chorus in this song needs to be set up. If the verse went straight to the chorus on this one I think it would be to drastic right away. I got to add a third harmony in there so we'll just have to jam on this went I come up there!
how about (in our offering) instead of (in our everything) , because it dosent really flow well with the rest of such a well written song.
otherwise the words to this song flow really well.
@Leonard You are on bro! Your harmonies are always welcome. Thanks for the input.
@Mrhatch Were you talking about changing the lyric in the pre-chorus or the bridge (or both?).
-Erik
Go USA.
Hi Erik,
I really love the folky feel of this! Nice work.
Lyrically I think the weakest point is probably the first verse. I think an opening line that sets up the verse more strongly is needed . As things stand "be more than a song" sounds like an exortation to the singer that worship is more than singing (it would be an odd line to sing to Jesus). The next lines are then directed to Jesus. And I'm not sure that "guide" is the right word to go with "melody" - it's kind of a mixed metaphor - having said Jesus is more than a song, you're likening him to a song. "Warms" perhaps?
The second verse is much stronger. I really like the link between worship and action that you draw out.
As for the world cup, I best watch what I say being Scottish! But I do hope the USA and England make it through. (Ideally England in second place so they're not playing in a quarter final when I get married on July 2nd!)
Erik
i did mean both, this is still a very good song.
@Mrhatch Ok, thanks.
@Paul I hear what you are saying. I have been working with the wording on that first verse. The thought I am trying to communicate is having these words and melodies that we sing be more than a song (with beginning and end) but something that carried into daily life. Still trying to figure the best way to express that. Thanks bro!
New Song
Forum Latest
OUR EVERYTHING
Erik Cederberg
V1
More than just a song
Jesus reside where You belong
In everything we are
Be the melody that guides our hearts
In our coming, in our going, in our everything
CH1
Jesus we worship You
Jesus we worship You
V2
Living breath of life
Come and fill our hearts with this desire
To glorify Your name
and see Your justice flow to the suffering
In our coming, in our going, in our everything
CH2
Jesus we worship You
Jesus we worship You
Let us resound with this refrain
Let every breath bring praise to Your name
BR
We bless Your name
We bless Your name
In our everything
Let us bless Your name