annie.moran
From Lucan Presbyterian
hello everyone, been a while! i've been thinking about children's songs and in particular the feeding of the 5000. here is an attempt at a worshipful song for little and not-so-little followers. i'd love to hear your thoughts. i'm not really involved in any kind of children's ministry, and i don't have any children, so i am no expert and may not be "getting it" when it comes to kids songs.....love some feedback!
thanks a million, God bless
Annie
It look's like you don't have Adobe Flash Player installed. Get it now.
Hi Annie,
I really like this song. Your voice is really good too.
In terms of the song, the only thing I would change, if it's still up for change, is to maybe restructure the last line of the 2nd verse, i.e. change "Every day for you I live" and sing "Every day I live for you".
My reasoning for this is that firstly it allows the ear to have a rest from the rhymes, also making the lyrics lead better into the chorus.
During the chorus, there are a couple of times where the timing is a little confusing. If the timing were a little straighter it would be easier to follow.
As I said though, this is an excellent song, taking a Bible story and making it relevant to today. Good work!
Alex
Hi Alex,
That's a really good suggestion - I'll definitely change the line. It's an interesting comment to give the ear a rest from the rhymes - it was the one line that I was dissatisfied with, and your idea certainly makes a difference. Thank you!
With regard to the timing issues, do you think it is the timing that is off (I didn't work to a click track, so maybe I'm just a bit sloppy with the beat) or is it that the words don't fit with the rhythm? It definitely doesn't sound as neat as I'd like, but it's just a rough recording.
I was glad to write a song however that is a bit more worshipful for children - sometimes I feel that the majority of kids' songs are high energy but not always strong in substance, and I would love to see children finding their own language to be worshipful.
Thanks again for your helpful comments.
Annie
New Song
Forum Latest
Lyrics:
I have heard stories of when
You took a small amount and then
What you blessed became a feast
With much more than enough to eat
So though I'm not yet fully grown
Jesus take me as your own
Though I have not much to give
Every day for you I live
All that I am able to
Jesus I give it to you
Even if it only looks
Like loaves and fishes
Take this gift so little
From it make a miracle
You can use a simple gift
To bless so many more