Forum » EQUIP THE WORSHIPPER » SONGWRITING CLINIC » Living for You
16 April 2010 - 10:37am
Nothing this world can take away
Take me away from You, oh God
And how you made me new
You are a beautiful melody
And so I sing because of You
You let me choose, You! You!
You changed my heart, Made me new
Now I'm living, living for You
You gave me hope deep inside
And now I'm living, living for You!
My heart is Yours and Yours alone
My thoughts cant leave what is Yours
You have brought me joy
There is no greater love than this
This love I found in You, oh god
I live for You, You! ...For you!
You are the God that makes me alive
You are the one that makes me shine
I live for You, I live for You
In Your love and truth my light shines bright
I can't keep quiet about You
I'm alive in You, I'm alive in You
I'm living for You! for You!
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20 April 2010 - 11:00pm
A nice song! What I really liked about it is there was a personality to it that felt unique. That’s always nice for me. I’d assume you’ve pretty much finished this one, I only had two thoughts that may help it be even better.
“My thoughts cant leave what is Yours”- felt a tad awkward, I get what you want to say but you may want to consider re-phrasing it?
“You are the God that makes me alive” - this also kind of felt a tad awkward, maybe consider "You are the God who brought me to life" or something like that?
Good stuff! Keep it up!
http://quiescentdetonation.blogspot.com/ (blog)
http://www.purevolume.com/marcproctor (music)
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Thank you Marc for bringing those to my attention. I agree with you and will work with it:)
:) glad my ramblings were helpful to you!
http://quiescentdetonation.blogspot.com/ (blog)
http://www.purevolume.com/marcproctor (music)
I think you could really bring a joyful energy to the song by raising the melody on your tag "I am living, living for you". Making that last part for of a shout and syncopated. Just a though. Nice work.
Matt Cash
Worship Leader @ Sandals Church
Riverside, CA





