jshivley
From Forefront Church
9 December 2009 - 8:41pm
Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise
This is a fresh take on the old hymn. I feel that it has the potential to be an excellent corporate worship song, but needs polishing and tweaking. This is a once through recording with garage band and Blue's usb mic, the snowball. In the Key of C, 3/4 time. Main chords are C, G, F, and Am on the bridge. Any and all feedback is welcomed!!!
Verse 1:
Immortal, invisible, God only wise,
In light inaccessible hid from our eyes,
Verse 2:
Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light,
Not wanting, or wasting, You rulest in might;
Chorus:
Most blessèd, most glorious, the Ancient of Days,
Almighty, victorious, Your great Name we praise.
Verse 3:
Great Father of glory, pure Father of light,
Your angels adore You, all veiling their sight;
Bridge:
To all, life You give, to great and small;
In all life You live, the true life of all;
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jshivley
From Forefront Church
10 December 2009 - 4:27pm
Any thoughts?
I love it!!!!! I literally was singing along as I was listening, it was easy to follow with the words. you know that warm gooey feeling inside when you feel God's presence? I'm feeling that now and I wish I was singing it louder. I love the break in the chorus, it works really well and that's a really cool take on the hymn. the polishing and tweaking takes time but that's an excellent start.
God bless,
Elikem.
Hey mate, think its great what you've got going here - really different and original take on it, I love it and would say keep going with it.
The only thing I'd bring up is the last bit of the chorus, "Your great name we praise". I'd say this for a number of reasons -
Obviously it's true, but its also quite a common phrase, and I think that seeing as the rest of the song is quite fresh (and all the better for it!) I think you could do yourself more justice here by finding a lyric to go here which is 'different' - perhaps even saying something old but just in a newer, better way. Martyn Layzell also uses the same line once or twice in his 'modern'/re-written version of Immortal Invisible, so for the sake of originality..
Also because Almighty, Victorious are such strong, awesome words, I think you could put something stronger than 'Your great name we praise' which really adds to it and complements the two words before.
Please hear me right on this - I love what you've got and I'm offering my opinion because I think it could be even better - just trying to push you a bit as I'd hope someone else would do to me!
really full and uplifting song eventhough its just you and the guitar, slighlty jealous!!!!
Thankyou all for your positive comments and great thoughts! Ben...thankyou for your constructive criticism...I was wondering if you had any thoughts as to what may fit in place of that phrase. I was sitting here thinking about it, and nothing has quite yet come to mind?? Thanks for the push...it's definitely welcomed and helps the creative process!
Also, I've never heard of Martyn Layzell or wasn't aware that this hymn has been "redone"...but I want to go check it out now!!
No problem friend. Don't let the fact he's 're-done' it too put you off from working on yours - yours is very different from his in style so its not as if you're doing something which has already been done - His version (in my experience) sounds much better with a full band as its quite a driven song, but your version is very versatile in that sense; it could be done in a small group setting as well as with a big band epic-ing it, with I think is great. Keep going!
I'm just about to take some time to think of what else could go there, I'll hit you up when/if I come up with something.
Alternatives to "your great name we praise" -
now and always,
able to save,
you shall remain (strongest option?)
I do like reworked hymns, so well done on this one :) Do you think a Father-based song like this one could have a line along the lines of "Together we sing, with Your Spirit and Son..." Would it be sensible worship to include Jesus and the Spirit as co-worshippers of the Father?
Loving the chords!! Sounds really nice! I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the lyrics (even though they sound good) just because I was finding it hard to connect with it (for me lyrics have got to take you somewhere and I didn't feel connected to the words). By that I just mean things like "the Ancient of Days" (not sure what it means!!), "In light inaccessible" (i'd leave that out), I'd take out "invisible" too, and "unhasting" (not sure what that means) and rework the other verses.
I like the words in the bridge and the chorus i'd just work on a theme for all the verses if it was me! I was listening to Bill Johnson's latest podcast this morning and he was saying that the thing Jesus was tempted with was not turning stone into bread to stop his hunger when he was in the wilderness but it was with his 'identity' (When the heavens opened God said "this is my son..." then 40 days later the Devil tempted him with "if you are the son of God..." so his temptation was his 'identity' (who he was)! Adam/Eve's temptation was with 'what God said'! He tempted them to question the meaning of the words God spoke to them! And every temptation/fear in the world I believe can be routed to your 'identity' as a son who has a right to an inheritance or 'what God said' you could have!!
It might be a cool idea to build the lyrics around that theme, you do that just by singing about stuff that exults his promises or his power and ability in a believers life!! Actually every worship, praise or thanksgiving song should have that as the theme for it to be true praise/thanksgiving which magnifies 'what God said' and 'who we are' in him if it's done like that!!
Hope that was a fair comment!! :)
Sambo x
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