This has great potential, Alex. Two things that stick out to me. Firstly, the syllables in line 1 don't seem to sit quite right to me, specifically "I find You in the silence where YOUR voice is so pure". I think you need to transfer the emphasis away from "your". I appreciate you have one more syllable than the second line (which is why that works better). Any way of altering this? Secondly, I guess I'm thinking more about the concepts. I'm not sure the line "I find you in the distance I set myself from You" is quite up there. What does this mean? I think many people would be able to identify with a song that essentially said "You are there in the slience/distance/brokenness/longing", but your lyrics suggest finding God (perhaps seemingly easily?) in those times. I'm not sure I've made myself clear, but I hope you see what I mean. So instead of: I find You in the silence where Your voice is so pure I find you in the distance I set myself from You I find You when I'm broken, You're there to make me whole I find you in the longing, in the sighing of my soul I wonder (purely on a conceptual basis) whether you could say something like: You're here throughout the silence... (something here!) You're near despite the distance I put myself from You You're there when I'm broken, Your Spirit makes me whole I'll find you in the longing, in the sighing of my soul It doesn't scan very well and it's just off the top of my head, but I hope you see what I mean. I just think that there's an opportunity for a great song here which identifies itself with people going through barren times. It may well be that they need a song which affirms that God is there through it, rather than suggesting that God can be easily found in it - becasue that is probably not their experience. Sorry if I've wrecked it with my ramblings!

I'm going to think a bit more on that, Alex. On the one hand I really like the thematic development from the pre-chorus, through the chorus and into the bridge: But I don't have to hear You whisper I don't have to hear You speak To know You love me Love me so I know You love me, Through and through For why else would You open Your arms And die for me on that cross What other reason could You have To pay the great cost On the other hand, I've often held on to the firm belief that God is ALWAYS speaking. And also the lovely little idea that Brad Jersak calls "God's phone number" - Jeremiah 33:3. In other words, if you're going through a barren time and God seems far away and silent, it's not Him who's moved and it's not Him who isn't speaking. We all go through those times, but I wonder just how helpful it is so sing about not needing to hear from him to know His love. Do you see what I mean? As I say, I'm torn because what you say is actually true and a lovely progression of ideas. Hmm.

hey alex...i really like this. i think it's pretty close. in the first verse, the response to "i find you in the distance" doesn't seem to connect as much as the other 3 call and responses. does that make sense? i love the imagery of God's voice being purest in the silence and making us whole when we're broken....love that....but the 2nd one doesn't seem as strong. also, the chorus seems SOOO close to me....but it's just missing a lift of sorts. maybe even elevating the bridge vocally too? all in all, great honest emotion. good stuff dude. be encouraged!

Nice song Alex. I would echo the commentary about the second line, it doesn't quite have the impact or meaning that it could. Keep working on it, revision is a great process (though tiring).