Hi Grace

Plenty of good advice above to pay attention to, and if I can offer a few bits of my own...

It's a good sign that you want to please God. It's usually a sign that your heart is heading in the right direction. I'd just encourage you not to get hung up on it though.

The Psalms in the bible are a great place to read through... so many times you see the Psalmists (usually David) pouring out their heart to the Lord both when they're glad and when they're upset, or when things seemed to be going wrong. So I guess just to additionally reassure you that it's not weird or un-Christian to feel upset or as if God isn't communicating with you. It happens to all of us at points.

The next thing to say is just to guard your heart too. The bible doesn't promise that when we choose to accept Jesus that we'll be happy all the time, because we begin to see things through God's eyes then to an extent. Jesus wasn't always happy. He wept and was sorrowful at times too... see Isaiah 53 also.

Additionally, always seeking after the feeling of being close to God can be dangerous as you chase after the 'festival high' that people experience at meetings like New Wine, Soul Survivor or similar. God doesn't want us to chase an experience or feeling... He wants us to chase Him.

So I guess just to say that there's nothing wrong with wanting joy in your life - it's a fruit of the Holy Spirit - and wanting to draw close to God... both of these are good things, and wonderful gifts from God.

... but just make sure that they are not your ultimate aims, because then they become idols. Seek first the Lord (ie, worship Him), and be obedient to what He says (all in the Bible!), and the other things spring up as a side effect.

And I can't emphasise how important it is to make sure you're part of a strong, supportive and bible-believing Christian community who will pray for you and with you. It's absolutely vital.

Great comments everyone!

Another thing that I've found helpful when I'm in times of distress/confusion/life feeling generally pants is to focus on who God is - this is a hard thing to do wholly on your own, since it's easy to get distracted, but a book I've found helpful to read is Tozer's The Knowledge of the Holy. It goes through some of God's aspects/personally traits individually, and I've found it really helpful. Personally, having exactly who God is (how merciful, loving, just, pure, gracious, holy, powerful, awesome etc, etc He is) in the front of my mind has helped me to not worry or be afraid of things.

I have a tendency to get in a "I must be better/try harder and being a good Christian/person/student/whatever" mindset and have found that unhelpful. It's a strange thing, but actually God Himself trains us and makes us Christlike, and not ourselves. Of course, we have to decide to act in a Christlike way and obey God and please Him, but I've found that it doesn't really work by me trying really hard or beating myself up about it. Often we just need to have a receptive heart attitude and God will work. His Spirit is already in you, so you don't have to try to be more 'holy', just let Him work. And He will work, which is exciting! In fact, where you are right now is where He wants you because His plans can't ever be scuppered by our bumbling around :) Feeling distant from God isn't always a bad thing as such; He can leave a bit of distance so we will seek Him and actively draw close to Him, and this trains us to do so in all situations. Not only that, but He will never leave you alone. Even if you can't sense Him near, He is there. I guess that's where faith kicks in and we need to trust that He is close even though it doesn't seem like it :)