timboboy09
From Chico First Assembly
19 April 2010 - 9:48pm
Okay, so I don't have much to make music on but I love writing songs. I finally recorded one I wrote and the audio and everything may not be great because it was just recorded with a $20 cheap piano, a midi cable and an audio cable to connect my cheap piano to my computer as well as the microphone in my macbook. I am 19 years old, still in college and would just like some feedback on my song, maybe areas to improve or something... By the way, this is a song I wrote when I was like 13 so it may not be lyrically the greatest so I would appreciate help in working on it...
One last thing, I only play keyboard and did this all myself...
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mrhatch
From unknown
20 April 2010 - 12:10pm
if you want some really good feedback on your song, post up your lyrics people can comment on your vocals and production.
but its the words that really matter.
Oh, sorry... Here are the lyrics
(VERSE 1)
God your love for me, is more than I can see. And every part of me, is gon'na be, be more like you.
(CHORUS)
I want to be like you, I want to walk with you, in everything I do, I give the honor to you Lord.
(VERSE 2)
Lord you are my King, and you are why I sing. You changed my inner being, so I will be. Be more like you.
(CHORUS)
I want to be like you, I want to walk with you, in everything I do, I give the honor to you (2x)...
The rest is just worship that I didn't really write into the song
Any thoughts anyone? This song really is up for changing. I don't have the experience most of you have so I was really hoping to get some help on this which may help me in my other songs...
Any thoughts anyone? This song really is up for changing. I don't have the experience most of you have so I was really hoping to get some help on this which may help me in my other songs...
Hi tim, I really like the feel of this song. I think it could be used very effectively in a time of response. I like the chorus loads.
In terms of the recording, the autotune effect on your voice was a little overpowering by the end of the song...
If I were to record it, I'd probably minimise the prominence of the effect as you end up sounding a bit like a robot... or worse: like Cher!
Anyhow, I like the song and I think it is very congregational.
Hope this helps.
Alex
hi there tim,
lovely song idea. very powerful musically.
the words are good, just very overused in many of other worship songs. theres an awful lot of rhymes in there aswell and all perfect rhymes meaning the words you use are limited.
one thing i wonder is that you say you want to be more like God, but not how. ie i you could say 'i want to be more loving, more patient, more kind etc.
nice song idea tho, doesnt need a lot of changes to it, have you used it in your church?
God bless,
gav.
Thanks for the responses guys... I used auto-tune in the song because I just found out my computer had it and I thought it sounded cool, obviously wouldn't use if for worship...
@Gavinball-how should I add that into the song? Would you suggest adding a bridge to it or something along those lines? I did write it when I was about 13 or so which was when I thought every poem/song had to rhyme perfectly... I know it doesn't no, so I definitely can change that a bit... I will work on your guys suggestions, thanks... Any more would be appreciated
Oh, and at sounding like Cher-a definite no in my (or anyones) book.... ha
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