WorshipCentral

Great topic Chris,

Feedback of any kind can be very difficult. On the one hand people complimenting you and you just accepting it by saying "thanks" can lead to pride developing and a confidence in our own abilities rather than a reliance on God. On the other hand, negative comments can really hurt and have a negative impact on a persons development. One situation that comes to mind was an elderly gent at church launching somewhat verbal attack on me after a new arranegement of an old chorus at church when he pulled me aside and told me straight out that I was "ruining his worship" i diffused the situation by trying to get to the bottom of his frustrations while also reminding him that I through my song selection am unable to ruin the worship that is between himself and God on a heart level.

The asking people to specify why worship "was good today" is also something I have started doing a lot recently. It is amazing how many amazing tstimonies you hear from people and also how many people seem unable to give a response.

It might seem to some that this is unfair on the congregation but as Worship Leaders/Pastors it is vital that we are not just song leaders in church, that we get alongside people and lead them in everyday worship.

Again, Great post mate.

hi guys,

good topic chris. for me its hard. most people never come up to me and say they disliked something, rather they say to someone behind my back and everntually it gets back to me but i never find out who said it. that is really frustrating! i woudl rather know who said then go and talk to them about their thoughts and then explain where i was coming from.

i can totally relate to the old hymn in new way one jamie man that ive taken some flak for doing that down the yrs!!

as for complements, its funny. some people can get carried away sometimes and treat you like some kind of super star. other times its helpful when people say what worked. i often speak to my dad after a service ive led as he isnt musical at all, so if i try something and he got it, then most
other people should have also.

pride is something i struggle with so it does help to have people to keep my feet on the ground also.

God bless,
gav.

"woohoo now i've re-registered I can post new topics!!"
Woohoo I can now reply to topics! And post new ones =)

I agree with Gavin that it's hard - if it's praise I try to point it back to God, but unfortunately it doesn't always happen - I tend to say thanks to God afterwards but I need to work on actually pointing the praise directly to him when I'm actually being thanked. If that makes sense!

"anyone else find that the people who don't like what you are doing are far more vocal than the people who do!?"

That's a really interesting point actually - I get two completely different takes on this. Like Gavin on the playing / leading front I rarely if ever hear from someone directly if they didn't like something but it tends to get round to me a bit later by general word of mouth, which is annoying! When I was just starting out though my Dad fed back to me a lot which was a great help.
On the sound front however it's mainly the opposite. (I say mainly because there's some people who always come up and comment if things sounded nice which is always helpful - especially if I was trying something different!) If it went smoothly then no-one says much, in fact even if things work but the sound quality isn't there then no-one says much! Generally, both when I or anyone else does sound, people (and again I'm genrelising here) only feed back when something goes very wrong - i.e. mic stops working, radio receiver dies, howling feedback due to someone dropping a mic right in front of a monitor...! Which somewhat ironically is probably the least helpful kind - when someone lectures you on something you know went wrong, you know what would fix it and you're more aware than anyone it wasn't meant to happen.
That said (and sorry drifting a bit OT) I think it's probably due to a lack of understanding in the congregation more than anything else. Most people can comment on the structure of a song and what they did or didn't like about it whether they play an instrument or not, and I've had a few people ask me about things like that before. But surprisingly I haven't had anywhere near the same amount of older folk come up to me after the service and say "perhaps you should've used a beta57 on that guitar instead of the C2" or "the lead singer sounded a bit harsh, perhaps there was a bit too much in the 2k area"!

I got given some really good feedback after leading Sunday evening, a couple of people talked to me about how I tried to encourage some spirit-led worship and began to pray into it and into the talk.

It was good comments, not just the run of the mill "good worship time" like Chris mentioned, which I found to be more helpful.

Hi Chris

seen you were abit rough on facebook. Hope you are feeling better bro!!

I think God is shaping me most through comments, positive and negative.

One area I struggled and sometimes still do, is the whole area of approval. This can leave me wide open when it comes to receiving positive and negative comments. God is at work in me to help me to understand that the only approval I need is His!!

We are God's workmen approved by Him.

My pray is that we will continue to be rooted and estabilished in His love, secure to grow through positive and negative comments into leaders that will build up the body of Christ.

Thanks for the post Chris

Bless ya
m

Great topic Chris :)

It's something i think i struggle with.
To be honest no-one has ever said to my face that it's been un-hlepful or whatever. People generally give me the passing comment like "Well done this morning/evening, you were really good" and i can never find anything to say except thank-you. In a way i think that people don't like telling me if it wasn't too good because they think it'll hurt my feelings and isn't good for me to hear - especially as i am only 15 and still the youngest member in our worship group. And in a way, i think i'd like to hear a couple of slightly negative comments (because if people are thinking it but not saying it then nothing's gonna happen about it and they're gonna stay unhappy about it) not as nasty downright rude comments, but more of constructive criticism that could help me help others in their worship. I know we can't always get what we want though, and it still is really nice to hear positive comments off people, but i struggle with saying anything but thanks to that person.
And like at lunch after church we always have a bit of a natter about the service (well, because dad's the Minister, and me mum and my sister are all part of the worship team so sometimes all of us are up on the platform! lol) and i tend to point out my mistakes rather than what went well - eventhough my dad's like 'That was really good this morning Nicola, i'm really proud of you, you're doing really well'. And sometimes i feel like i'm being treated more as a child who's just getting into it (which i am really, i suppose) than a teen who loves music and God and using music to worship God and help others do this as well (which i also am). And some comments feel a bit patronising to me, even if they're not intended to be.
Any advice?

Nic

It's always tricky when you want some constructive criticism rather than "that was really good" all the time, and I understand completely that it gets frustrating! I think you're doing the right thing by bringing up things you could've done better rather than dwelling on what you did well - but equally I'd try not to fall into the trap of just pointing out your mistakes and not mentioning anything positive at all. You might find that if you dwell too much on negative things people will think you're being too hard on yourself and therefore try and counter that by just talking about positive stuff! I think the best advice I'd have there would just be to be honest in saying what went well as well as what could've been improved.

That said, how long have you been playing in the worship group? The first few times I was playing at all I had a similar situation where a lot of people were just complimentary, and when I started leading I had the same situation again! After a few weeks though it died down, and while it didn't stop altogether as such I did feel comments were more honest - constructive criticism worked its way in far more for example and I feel I improved as a result. You might find something similar happens to you.

Hope that helped a bit!

michael,

thanks! pretty helpful for me - i guess i'll just have to carry on and see where it gets me. lol i know i should point out the bits that went well, and i sometimes do (like if a certain song worked particularly well or something) but i really don't like saying i'm good... i'm obviously good else they wouldn't want me leading the worship, but sometimes i just feel a bit big-headed if i say i'm good (i know it isn't, but that's what it feels like)

well i've been drumming in it for 3 or 4 years now... been doing piano in it for about a year (did evenings to start off with so it wasn't too daunting for me, but i've slowly worked up and done about 4 morning services now and will continue to do so - as well as drumming some mornings).

thanks again :)

Nic

"but i really don't like saying i'm good... i'm obviously good else they wouldn't want me leading the worship, but sometimes i just feel a bit big-headed if i say i'm good"
Instead of phrasing it as "I'm good", try phrasing it to something like "I really feel like God used me / gave me a sense of direction in that song." Helps in two ways - you can aknowledge it went well without saying you're good and you point it all back to God :)

Positive comments are awkward for me to navigate, like a lot of you said. Just because I don’t mean to come off as conceited, or accept praise. But, it can also come off as “holier than thou” if I quickly say an all-glory-to-God phrase. So I’ve tended to default to a simple “It was good wasn’t it” or something like that. Never thought of asking questions to find out why people liked it though, cool idea.

To be honest, I haven’t had to deal with much negativity. Kind of like Nic, I’ve been leading since I was 15, but it didn’t really change too much as I got older. I’ve not really had a true-blue worship leader experience then huh!? I’ve been in the youth-group for around 10 years or so, maybe adults are more vocal with their ideas? But, in my day job I deal with complaints all the time. It seems people mostly just want to be heard by a sympathetic ear. If I allow myself to really understand what is frustrating them I find they are more apt to hear my side of the story. That requires a bit of effort though.

Positive or negative, in honesty or patronage I think getting any sort of feedback is somewhat encouraging. I feel it would be even worse if people didn’t say anything at all.