Here's a little sketchy recording of a song idea I've been working on. It'll be great to know if you have any ideas or anything about the song. Cheers!
Tom
Lyrics are:
You brought me out of darkness
And filled me with your light
Now I'm shining bright and it's all for you
Although the days get harder
But my life feels stronger
You have carried me, all this way
You've opened up my blinded eyes
Showed me truth, i realised
All because of you, I am free
You are the God who saves
You are the one I praise
It's you i live for
You I long for
You, you, you
I can't explain this feeling
Of how you've loved and saved me
My life if all for you forever more
You lift me up off of the ground
Shook my heart, turned me around
All because of you, I am free
You are the God who saves
You are the one I praise
It's you i live for
You I long for
You, you, you
No more worry, no more pain
'Coz you take it away, take away
Your love has filled me, now I'm free
I'm free now today, free now today
Free now today
You are the God who saves
You are the one I praise
It's you i live for
You I long for
You, you, you
Great song!! really love the whole sound of it too,
a few tweaks could be....
"Although the days get harder
But my life feels stronger" - To me that doesn't really make sense?
you could change it too something like
"Although the days get harder
With You my life is stronger"
Like this It would also have the same syllable count as the second line of the second verse so it would give it a bit more of a consistent flow which really helps congregations.
Also the first of the chorus is fantastic really singable and memorable but the lyrics of of the second half -"It's you i live for
You I long for
You, you, you" seem to me could be strengthened to really make it stand out.
also not sure if you need the tag as the verses and the chorus sound so good.
great start on this song its gonna be a great one when its finished!
the only thing i can add to what chris has said is that i coujldnt sing this bit, and mean it:
"No more worry, no more pain
'Coz you take it away, take away"
yes God saves but that doesnt mean we face no more pain. the bible doesnt say that.
pain will always be there whether we are christians or not but we can put it into perspective
with God helping us through it. i think you need to change that bit.
great voice and production aswell tho thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the feedback, really good to know what works and what doesn't. I know what you mean about the middle 8 section with lyrics 'No more worry, no more pain, coz' you take it away'. God does comfort us and supports us but in the world we live in there is pain and it does make us worry i suppose. It could change to 'Take my worry, take my pain?'
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Hey Tom,
Great song!! really love the whole sound of it too,
a few tweaks could be....
"Although the days get harder
But my life feels stronger" - To me that doesn't really make sense?
you could change it too something like
"Although the days get harder
With You my life is stronger"
Like this It would also have the same syllable count as the second line of the second verse so it would give it a bit more of a consistent flow which really helps congregations.
Also the first of the chorus is fantastic really singable and memorable but the lyrics of of the second half -"It's you i live for
You I long for
You, you, you" seem to me could be strengthened to really make it stand out.
also not sure if you need the tag as the verses and the chorus sound so good.
blessings mate
chris
Your song makes me want to worship
// www.danbladen.com // www.sph.org //
hi there,
great start on this song its gonna be a great one when its finished!
the only thing i can add to what chris has said is that i coujldnt sing this bit, and mean it:
"No more worry, no more pain
'Coz you take it away, take away"
yes God saves but that doesnt mean we face no more pain. the bible doesnt say that.
pain will always be there whether we are christians or not but we can put it into perspective
with God helping us through it. i think you need to change that bit.
great voice and production aswell tho thanks for sharing.
God bless,
gav
Hey guys,
Thanks for the feedback, really good to know what works and what doesn't. I know what you mean about the middle 8 section with lyrics 'No more worry, no more pain, coz' you take it away'. God does comfort us and supports us but in the world we live in there is pain and it does make us worry i suppose. It could change to 'Take my worry, take my pain?'
What do you think? Dan thanks for your input.
T x
hi tom,
yeh something along those lines would be much better i think.
great song idea keep working on it and it could be great.
cheers,
Gav.
Cheers Gav,
Means a lot. I'll have a change around as see what comes out
T x