Kazmaria
From Vale of Aylesbury vineyard
7 August 2009 - 9:01pm
This song was also written a couple of years ago although i havent really developed it much and would love some feedback on it!
LYRICS- Gift
All i can ever give is the gift of a song
To hear the angels sing the words i put upon your throne
Lord your great your the words i cant describe
No song could say how much you care
and storms will cease in the presence of the king
the oceans will rise ad the seas will flood with your glory
Please hear my prayers and the melody of this song
To sing of the wonders and love i see as a beautiful harmony
Lord your great your the words i cant describe
no song could say how much you care
and storms will cease in the presence of the king
the oceans will rise and the seas will flood with your glory
Holy, holy, holy is the lord
Holy, holy, holy is the lord almighty
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gavinball
From Fishponds Baptist Church, Bristol, UK
9 August 2009 - 8:20am
hi there kaz,
nice start on this i like where its headed, nice recording aswell.
i think it just lacks focus really. like could you sum up the main song message in a sentence for instance?
also i dont think i agree with the line 'all i can ever give is the gift of a song'? what about giving our lives as a living sacrifice to God? its kind of suggesting that singing is the only thing we can give God which isnt true at all. the angels line is a bit of a stretch aswell, i just wander if its accurate to say the angels sing the songs we write?
the oceans will rise and flood with your glory is an interestingf concept aswell, i might work but it just seems a bit out of place in this song the way it is at the mo.
keep working on it, you sing and play really well.
God bless,
gav.
x Kazmaria
thanx for the comment! i will keep working on it and take into account what you've said and hopefully will post some edited lyrics soon
x
x Kazmaria
thanx for the comment! i will keep working on it and take into account what you've said and hopefully will post some edited lyrics soon
x
just a grammatical nit-pick...
You are = You're... not 'Your'
Agree with gav about the gift of just a song, we can give more. Perhaps if you're like me its personally the best way I know how to honour God, but not the only way, and other people (who aren't musical) won't necessarily share those sentiments.
grant
x Kazmaria x
lol! thnx for that. not very good at the grammar. thnx for your comment and i'll work on it
Really nice song Kay. Nice piano and beautiful vocals.
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