Mark Robins
From New Community Southampton
3 March 2010 - 11:17am
I posted a while back a song, City of God, and have this week re-written it, now I love it :-)
Same words for verse and bridge but with changed melody and chords, and a completely new chorus. See what you think?
Verse 1:
You have the words of life eternal
So speak them here, speak them here
You are the hope for our salvation
So bring it here, bring it here
Bridge:
Mercy come, justice come, freedom come
That we may see Your kingdom here on earth
Chorus:
City of God! We long to see the day
When the dark is chased away
And Your light, it shines for all to see
City of God! With Jesus glorified
Where the Spirit testifies
Of this God who comes to save us
Verse 2:
You are the God who breathes new life
So breath it here, breath it here
Father restore these broken lives
Restore them here, restore them here
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paulrobertson
From St Silas, Glasgow
3 March 2010 - 3:08pm
Great song, didn't catch the original.
Very singable and a strong emphasis on the importance of the "now" of the Kingdom.
I'd probably lose the "save us" middle section and replace it with a downbeat and building bridge (or ever just the first line of the bridge repeated a few times.)
In terms of things that might improve the lyrical/theological content, you could look to incorporate more sense of recahing out and participation. Currently the song seems to be about the Kingdom coming "here". What about "out there" too? Also, there's little sense in the lyrics of our participating *with* God in bringing about his kingdom. What should we do to "see justice come"?
But great stuff. Would certainly use this.
Paul
Mark!
Hope you and the family are doing well mate.
Love the song, it sounds really strong!
I too would prob drop the saves us middle bit as it doesn't seem to add anything with the rest being strong?
Only other thought is would it be worth doing a short pre-chorus like one line leading into the chorus and use the current bridge as a tag/middle 8 as it seems a bit long at the mo before it hits the chorus?
Either way great song, love the vocals and instrumentation too!
Hope to see you soon.
Hi guys, thanks so much for commenting already, very interesting! I guess the "Save us" could go, but I'd rather shorten it, I really like the Am, Em, D/F#, Amaj cycle, and content-wise it augments the crying out theme of the song.
Paul, in terms of the theology, the vision for the song is the immense need for God to impact our city (wherever your city is...) and, yes, he does involve us in this, of course. But I wanted to maintain the single thought of God in action in response to his people. There would be another song re our actions, I think. Also, when I say "here", I'm imagining the city as a whole?
Chris, yes, perhaps the bridge is a better middle bit than a pre-chorus, hmmm, I'll have a look.
Glad you love the vocals and instrumentation, who needs a Mac, eh? I'm a PC.
Hi Mark,
One word:
Rubbish.
;-)
Only joking! I like this mucho! I must admit I agree with Chris that the pre-chorus is quite long at the moment, although it still works.
You could try just singing:
Mercy come, Justice Come (then straight into:)
City of God...
Just an idea. I think the song works as it is, but if you felt you had to change something I'd suggest the prechorus.
I've not got a problem with the "Save us" bit. Maybe shorten it for a recording, but in terms of real life use it could be something to use or not to use depending on what the Spirit is doing at that particular time...
Anyway, thought I'd add my twopence to the conversation!
See you tomorrow!
Alex
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