Matt_Rolfe
From unknown
6 November 2009 - 11:35pm
Hey! This is my first time of ever doing this, so its all abit new to me. Well i right this song a few days ago and would love to get some feedback of any kind from people.
I take my cross for You
I pick up my cross for You
I fix my eyes straight ahead
Let them gaze directly at the feet of -
Your Cross, Your Cross, the feet of Your Cross
I gaze at the Cross, the Cross, the feet of Your Cross
I’m bowing down
I’m giving up my pride
Laying down
At the place where I am firm in You
I’m looking up
Where You hold the brighter days
Carrying Your Cross
With the pride I have to say –
You reign, You reign, because of Your Cross
Because of Your Cross, Your Cross, Because of Your Cross
I’m bowing down
I’m giving up my pride
Laying down
At the place where I am firm in You
Thanks, Matt
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gavinball
From Fishponds Baptist Church, Bristol, UK
7 November 2009 - 4:42pm
hi matt,
good start on this one, like what youhave so far.
a couple of thoughts:
the first 2 lines say exactly the same thing, any way of making one of them say something differerent?
im not really sure 'with the pride i have to say' is that strong a line? epecially as you say previously that youre giving up your pride?
also the place where i am firm in you is a bit vague, i think a stronger line there would improve the song.
keep working on it.
God bless,
gav.
cheers Gav!
yeh would have to agree with u on those comments. cheers for the feedback much appreciated, il get working on it!
Matt
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