In this months episode we have great new song and interview from Soul Survivor's Beth Croft. Also Tim and Ben have a 'perfect pitch' show down!
Forum » EQUIP THE WORSHIPPER » SONGWRITING CLINIC » Arise
21 June 2009 - 12:13am
Hey all, I think its amazing that there's a place to get good feedback for songs that we write. I've been reading peoples comments on other songs and I wanted to get your input on a song I wrote whilst our band went on a retreat last year. I felt like God wanted us to wake up from our slumber of weekly 'worship' and to take hold of what he's called each of us to do right now wherever we are. bit sketchy on guitar, but was the only instrument available at the time though the song was written on piano, moving out of my comfort zone ;-)
lyrics:
1. On earth's floor, You prepare a way
You make straight a path for me
A vessel of honour, prepared and ready,
to be used by you
pre-chorus:
That is as you require
That is my heart's desire
chorus:
We are ready to respond to your call
Let those who hear rise
Let those who sleep arise
2. I see a shifting of sands
A rising of those who lie still
stirred by an urgency to respond to your call
pre-chorus
chorus
bridge:
Holy holy holy
is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is, and is to come
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21 June 2009 - 1:25am
Hey Elikem,
Really cool feel to this song man, I like it!
Several things that initially hit me was that it feels a little vague in terms of the melody.
It would help, especially if it were to be a congregational song, to have a strong and firm melodic structure and so far it still feels like it's lacking in dynamic and clear structure. A good way to work on that would be to go through each section thoroughly like a verse, chorus and bridge melody. This should just ensure a cleaner flow throughout the song! Just a though!
Lyrically, I like where you're going! One thing that stood out was in the first verse you say "to make a straight path for me", but it says that the only way will be windy and narrow and for me your lyric makes it sound like God will make your life easy - which I'm sure you're not trying to say but others may see it like that. Apart from that, I like it. It has great potential and I love your unique style!
Keep me posted!
Josh
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Hey Josh, Thanks for the comments esp about a strong melody, I quite agree. A lot of the songs I write come from just singing to myself, but singing in front of people, I'm beginning to realise, is different and encouraging others to join me in worship requires that they be able to partake not just in the lyrics but the melody as well. regarding 'to make a straight path for me' I actually meant it to illustrate how focusing on God actually makes our paths, though winding and tumultous, straight, almost to say the path I'm walking is looking upwards, straight at God. I'll have a look at those words and see how best I can illustrate that in the lyrics. Thanks again.





